Books
Life Without Lisa
A Widowed Father’s Compelling Journey Through the Rough Seas of Grief
by Richard Ballo
Description
In Life Without Lisa, a poignant and highly personal story of one man’s healing journey through grief, hospice bereavement support is the hero.
Readers walk a mile in author Richard Ballo’s shoes as they learn what it’s like to be widowed with young children to raise. Because everyone was in denial about the advanced stages of Lisa’s cancer, she and her family received no hospice or palliative care services. Thus, her rapid decline and death come as a brutal shock. Fortunately, Ballo learns about grief support classes available through his local hospice and enrolls himself and his two little boys. Without hospice, Life Without Lisa would not have such a hopeful ending.
Calling a grief support book a “pageturner” might seem a stretch, but not in this case. Ballo wraps the reader next to his broken heart and doesn’t let go until he transforms abject grief into warm, loving memories.
Ballo is so eternally grateful to hospice that the Dedication Page of Life Without Lisa reads in part: “…And to hospice for helping me heal and find hope.”
High Praise from Experts:
“…a lifeline of help and hope…”
—Ira Byock, M.D., author of Dying Well and The Four Things That Matter Most
“…Rich Ballo’s remarkable descriptions of his many painful, and frequently changing, reactions reassure the reader of how normal these feelings are…”
—Patricia Kelley, RN, CHPN, author of Companion to Grief and co-author of Final Gifts
Testimonials
I am writing to you after reading “Life without Lisa”. Your book was given to me by a Hospice grief counselor. Eight weeks ago, my beloved husband passed away from cancer. He was 45.
Thank you so much Mr. Ballo for sharing the story of your experience. By pouring out your thoughts and feelings onto those pages you have helped me to know that what I am going though is normal. You have helped to give me hope that I too will survive this nightmare called grief.
- DG, Indiana
I am not sure why I am sending his e-mail other than I felt I should. I wanted to first thank you for your book “Life without Lisa”. The man I love lost his wife to ovarian cancer 20 months ago. Your book helped me to see things from his point of view. Your book gave me a clearer understanding of the emotions that he is facing and his thoughts behind them. Thank you for sharing your soul with me.
- LA
I lost my wife a little over 18 months ago. She left me with a week old and a five year old. They are why I am still here. I’m grateful that I came upon your book…there are not too many books discussing the grief of a widower with children. We grieve, it just takes longer. Thanks again, I;m comfortable that I’m not alone.
-TS
I finished reading your book last night. It was beautifully written and really got my emotions going. Especially at the end when you described your last hours with lisa. The pictures in the back were a total surprise and really hit home the loss and recovery that you and your family experienced. I hope your writers block has been completly cured and i’m looking forward to reading future work.
-Al
I read your book this week – I saw it mentioned on the Young Widow Bulletin Board (the YWBB). I’ll be recommending it to other young widows & widowers. I found your book to be a moving and heartbreaking but ultimately hopeful description of this journey of grief and healing that we find ourselves thrust upon when our spouses die too young.
I’ll be adding your book to the Young Widow Bulletin Board “Library” on the website. I’ve done another post about your book in our Books, Quotes, Poems & Songs Forum with the hope that more of our YWs will see the post. We do have some young widowers with young children and I think your book will be especially meaningful to them although I think it is meaningful to all YWs, men and women alike.
Thanks for sharing your story.
CT, Dallas, Texas
Reading Life without Lisa took me back 25 years ago to the time of my husband’s death. He was 31 years of age and I was 29 years old. It was very difficult to read as it so accurately portrayed my feelings then. I only wish the book had been available in 1982, as it would have given me immeasurable insight and comfort during that heartbreaking period of my life.
-Jodell L. Wheeler, ACSW, LCSW, MBA, Psychotherpist
Unforgettable Excerpts from Life Without Lisa:
I sit on the bed with each of the boys and begin to talk about the day. “I never said goodbye,” Victor admits in a quiet voice.
“When I called you from the hospital, I held the phone to Mom’s ear so you could say something.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
I’m somewhat irritated that Victor didn’t seize that moment, but I search to find a loving reply. After all, he’s just a little kid who’s lost his mother. My heart aches for him. “It’s okay, Victor,” I whisper as I hold him close. My tears fall onto his blondish brown hair and I’m reminded of how much he looks like Lisa. Similar color hair, same pale blue eyes.
Nick jumps onto my lap and wraps his arms around my neck. The three of us cling to each other. No one wants to let go.
“You know, you can talk to Mom anytime,” I reassure the boys, “because I believe her spirit is still alive, and she will know it’s you.”
We sit in silence — three weary swimmers adrift in a sea of shock and grief.
“I’ll see you in the morning. I love you.” I carry Nick to his bed.
“What are we doing tomorrow?” asks Nick.
“I don’t know.” I sigh. “But I know we’ll be together.” I give Nick an extra long hug. He loves his hugs.
Along with Lisa, all hope seems dead. The hope that she would survive another stay in the hospital is dead. The hope that we would have more time together is dead. The belief in her invincibility is dead. The hope of a married life lived until old age is dead. I feel like I’m drowning in an ocean of tears. My entire being is filled with an aching I’ve never known before. I wish I were dead.
